


i found peace ( with you )

by jaeminim



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: ( it's soft i promise ), ( well it's cyclothymia ), Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Bipolar Disorder, Eating Disorders, Fluff, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Making Out, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, anxiety disorders, mild descriptions of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-16
Updated: 2018-11-16
Packaged: 2019-08-24 10:45:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16638437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaeminim/pseuds/jaeminim
Summary: Jung Jaehyun wouldn’t call fate unavoidable, but he could call it unpredictable. What had started off as a dot on his forearm had turned into a constellation, jet black ink shimmering in metallic tones as electricity jolted up along his arm the first time he and his soulmate met each other’s gaze.





	i found peace ( with you )

**Author's Note:**

> dont think this was beta read lmao  
> anyways !! rating's just because i wrote them making out like four times  
> they also go to a party, two actually  
> honestly idk, my writing style is a mess that manages to work out well  
> comments are a writer's best friend !! pls comment on what you thought

Jung Jaehyun wouldn’t call fate unavoidable, but he could call it unpredictable. What had started off as a dot on his forearm had turned into a constellation, jet black ink shimmering in metallic tones as electricity jolted up along his arm the first time he and his soulmate met each other’s gaze. A seemingly normal day had ended with Jaehyun skipping basketball practice, safely tucked away with  _ Lee Taeyong  _ in the library, studying the movements of his  _ frail  _ soulmate. If you had asked Taeyong what happened that day, he would claim that Jaehyun appeared out of nowhere, and interrupted a perfectly good study session, only serving to be more of a nuisance as he stared Taeyong down, leaving the redhead unable to concentrate. 

 

However, neither of them had mentioned their bond to anyone for quite a while. It was always secret glances in between classes, hushed greetings as they passed each other in the halls, and the occasional hi-five when Jaehyun felt being exceptionally vexing. Taeyong hated Jaehyun being annoying, he hated being annoyed in general, but it was worse as Jaehyun only got cuter as he got more annoying and he never really had the heart to be angry at the huge baby known by the general public as the captain of the basketball team and the university’s star player. What no one knows, however, is that Jaehyun never got into the school under a sports scholarship, but a performing arts one.

 

Months passed before any progress had actually gone underfoot. Jaehyun would take Taeyong to a cafe every week on Saturdays, and in turn, the duo would spend both Friday and Saturday night together. Months of their “dates”, study sessions in the library, bringing each other food had finally morphed to a whole complicated knot of feelings easily explained by two words,  _ tournament season _ . Jaehyun had disappeared, completely gone from the elder’s life within a matter of minutes. Their weekend plans had long gone, their interactions coming to an absolute standstill, yet Taeyong always found himself at Jaehyun’s games, seemingly interested in the players and their meticulously practised formations, despite his focus being trained on one sole person: the captain, the boy that quite literally tore apart Taeyong’s self-control.

 

Taeyong wouldn’t call himself overbearing, but at that point, he had had enough. Weeks of Jaehyun staying late at the uni’s basketball court, shying away from all human interaction minus his teammates, and only then, his entire focus on getting formations  _ right and drilled into his very being _ . He hated not knowing if Jaehyun had eaten, had gotten a decent amount of sleep. Worry gnawed at the very fibre of his being, heightened at every game, simply praying that they won, not for school pride, but for Jaehyun’s sake.

 

That’s how Taeyong and Jaehyun had found each other tightly wrapped up together at the end of the season, their university taking the championship home. It wasn’t a cliche image, Taeyong had calmly made his way to the middle of the court, squeezing through a seemingly endless sea of people, and when he finally got to Jaehyun, he smacked the younger in the face with a towel to dry his hair. The response he received had been a laugh and being practically mauled off the floor by Jaehyun, crushed into a hug that he reluctantly reciprocated, whining into Jaehyun’s ear about how he was  _ sweaty  _ and  _ how  _ was it  _ possible  _ for someone to sweat  _ that  _ much.

 

It was as if winning the tournament had flipped a switch in Jaehyun’s brain. The recluse Jaehyun had been replaced with, for lack of better word, a damn whiny puppy that required constant attention from a certain blond. By the end of the third day Taeyong had snapped,  _ what kind of fucking living duality was Jung Jaehyun _ ? He swears the younger solely existed to annoy the living shit out of him. However, no matter how irritating and confusing Jaehyun gets, Taeyong finds the strength to deal with it, usually by dragging the little shit to his apartment for food that was usually left forgotten on the coffee table and cuddles. He wouldn’t admit it, but he secretly enjoyed Jaehyun’s clingy nature and the way he always had one arm wrapped around Taeyong, whether it be around his shoulders casually or around his waist possessively.

 

They had cleared the air around what exactly they were at a party, Taeyong fussing over Jaehyun, reminding him to  _ not get shitfaced or you will regret it later _ . Emboldened by the elder’s fussing, Jaehyun calmly brought up his arms to rest them on Taeyong’s waist, pulling him flush against his chest, planting a kiss on Taeyong’s forehead, basking in the feeling of Taeyong’s eyes fluttering shut at the gesture, his eyelashes tickling the side of his jaw. One of his hands come up and stalls at Taeyong’s nape for a single beat before Jaehyun is slightly tilting Taeyong’s face upwards, their eyes meeting for a brief second, and it only takes Taeyong that brief second to get flustered, cheeks turning red as he softly shakes his head, trying to dispel the blush forming on his cheeks. Jaehyun laughs, pulling Taeyong back to his chest, craning his neck so he can tuck Taeyong’s head in the juncture of his shoulder, the elder muttering about how mean he is for laughing at him when the only reason he’s flustered is Jaehyun.

 

With a leap of faith, Jaehyun takes a gentle hold of Taeyong’s chin once again, touch feather light, reminding him that if he wasn’t ready, he could back out at any given moment. To Jaehyun’s absolute delight, Taeyong made no movement to shy away from his touch, his cheeks flaring with colour once more as Jaehyun finally pressed a soft, yet firm, kiss on Taeyong’s lips. Jaehyun felt content, happy, and warm as his lips lingered on Taeyong’s, his heart surging with the desire to simply hold Taeyong tightly in his arms, safe from the world.

 

Taeyong’s arms, that had been previously wrapped around Jaehyun’s midsection, find purchase in Jaehyun’s hair as he presses himself firmer against Jaehyun’s soft lips, craving to feel a higher sense of warmth and safety, The redness of his face is beyond his care as he kisses Jaehyun back like it’s their last. It’s desperate yet lacks any lust. They’re both content, and that’s what matters.

 

The party had solidified the status of their relationship, everyone now well informed that Basketball Ace Jung Jaehyun was officially off the market, wrapped around Lee Taeyong the same way the latter was wrapped around Jaehyun; not that it wasn’t evident before. Jaehyun and Taeyong may like to think they were inconspicuous with their skinship, yet literally, no one was fooled.

 

Taeyong has no idea if Jaehyun’s meant to be this infuriatingly endearing. It feels like High School all over again when Jaehyun asks, no, begs, for Taeyong to meet him under the bleachers after practice. He doesn’t know whether to be exasperated at how Jaehyun’s pulling all the High School tropes or if he thinks his puppy dog eyes work on Taeyong. ( they absolutely fucking do but you’ll never get him to admit it )

 

That’s how he finds himself under the bleachers, Jaehyun’s arms wrapped around him, keeping his body in place as he’s caught in liplock with his  _ only slightly  _ taller boyfriend. It hadn’t been as awkward as one would imagine, considering Jaehyun’s tendency to steal kisses from Taeyong in public. He had walked over to Taeyong with a shit eating grin on his face and pulled him into his embrace, causing Taeyong to yank the towel around his neck off, bunching it up slightly in his hand and smacking Jaehyun’s face with it. The towel is dropped onto Jaehyun’s duffel bag as the younger closes the gap between them, lips pressing against Taeyong’s.

 

Jaehyun’s arms wrap around Taeyong, one finding purchase at the base of his neck, enabling him to grasp at Taeyong’s hair and pull him closer as his other arm wraps around his waist. By now, there’s no space between the two as Taeyong’s arms rest on Jaehyun’s shoulders, fingers grasping at strands of his hair, tugging sharply as Jaehyun trapped his lower lip between his, nibbling slightly at the flesh. He lets go of Taeyong’s bottom lip at the tug, smirking into the kiss as he presses his lips firm against Taeyong’s once more before pulling apart.

 

Jaehyun looks like sin incarnate with pupils blown wide and brown hair mussed, a small smile upon his glossy red lips before beginning to plant soft kisses along Taeyong’s jaw to his earlobe. He continues his treatment of Taeyong’s skin, peppering kisses along the sides and column of his neck. The arm wrapped around Taeyong’s waist pulls back, searching for Taeyong’s hand, palms clasping together as Jaehyun softly nibbles and sucks on the base of Taeyong’s neck, his motive clear. when he pulls back, there’s a soft pinkish-red hickey blooming near Taeyong’s collarbones.

 

If the sexual side of their relationship was evident in the form of hickeys littering inches of their skins, their romantic and sensual moments were impossible to ignore. From the way Jaehyun held Taeyong close to him when the elder seemed to be uncomfortable to how Taeyong held Jaehyun’s hand while teaching how to prepare a dish, it was a sort of fulfilling intimacy.

 

Jaehyun looks forward to the mornings now, sharing it with Taeyong by helping the elder with breakfast. Today, breakfast consists of rice and many side dishes, which Jaehyun helps Taeyong prepare. By the time the duo end up sitting down for breakfast, Taeyong has swatted Jaehyun’s hands away from the sides he was busy preparing, chiding him to be patient and Jaehyun retaliates by wiping away little bits of food stuck to the corner of Taeyong’s lips as he tastes the dishes he’s preparing.

 

Breakfast is always uneventful and a time of silence, both of them gravitating towards their own responsibilities once finished with their meal. Neither of them had a class before ten in the morning and both spent the remainder of the morning either preparing for their classes or curled up together, an episode of whatever show playing on the television.

 

Weeknights included soft and indulgent makeout sessions, Jaehyun’s lips moving lazily against Taeyong’s, the elder draped over his waist, straddling his hips. When he got tired, Taeyong would place his head on Jaehyun’s shoulder as the younger pulled him closer on his lap, peppering soft kisses along the column of his neck. The silence, only broken by the sound of kisses, lulled them both to a serene state.

 

Some nights included one partner crying, and each tear-filled night found itself being spent under the covers. When Jaehyun cried, Taeyong held the younger to his chest as they cuddled, the elder mumbling words of comfort and encouragement. Jaehyun’s breaths would even out as he fell asleep, holding onto Taeyong as if his life depended on it.

 

When Taeyong cried, it was a messy ordeal. The elder refused to even spare Jaehyun a glance as tears streamed down his face, his shoulders oddly still. He’d be hunched over his desk, face in his hands, silently hiccuping as Jaehyun pulled him to his side, wiping the elder’s tears away after managing to pry his hands away from his face. Feelings of inadequacy plagued his mind, only finding solace in the dips and hitches of Jaehyun’s voice as the younger read to him, Taeyong cuddled up to his side, tears slowly disappearing as his eyelids drooped, curling further into Jaehyun’s embrace. As he held the elder in his arms, Jaehyun couldn’t help but think of the difference in his boyfriend’s actions in and outside their apartment.

 

No matter how calm and stoic Taeyong appeared to be from an outsider’s point of view, only a few shared the knowledge of how Taeyong was indeed as fragile as his frame would suggest. Jaehyun had learned of Taeyong’s eating habits early on into their  _ official  _ relationship; the memory still sticks out like a sore thumb. He remembers noticing how Taeyong never really ordering anything bigger than a small slice of cheesecake, most of which he ended up feeding to Jaehyun, cooing about how Jaehyun looked like he needed the extra sweetness, noticing how Taeyong looked guilty as he forced down whatever little food he had brought along with him for the day,  _ just because _ he knew Jaehyun was watching him eat. Voicing his concerns to Taeyong had gotten a reaction that he quite truthfully had been expecting.

 

Panic flared in Taeyong’s eyes at the introduction of the topic as he stared right into Jaehyun’s flickering ones with a flurry of emotions: hurt, concern, and  _ fear _ . Taeyong, at that moment, wanted nothing more than to be able to say he was fine, that everything was alright, yet Jaehyun’s pleading eyes left a knot in this throat that refused to resolve itself, no matter how many times he swallowed. Instead, his hand curled tighter into Jaehyun’s, his head burrowing deeper into Jaehyun’s side. They had been cuddling on the couch, Taeyong leaning onto Jaehyun, the latter’s arms wrapped around his slim frame, fingers entwined.

 

Neither of them mentioned the discussion ever again, but in turn, Jaehyun kept a much closer eye on Taeyong. They even began working out together after Jaehyun had jokingly mentioned if Taeyong wanted to feel like he looked better, he could do it by building muscle. Everything turned out to look brighter, and Jaehyun was nothing short of proud as he watched Taeyong cheekily swipe Jaehyun’s macarons from right under his nose, biting into one without any semblance of regret on his sharp features.

 

He watched with pride as his boyfriend gained confidence in his appearance, not shying away at a stray compliment. However, when the stray compliments turned into unabashed  _ flirting _ , especially in Jaehyun’s presence where he would be ignored, he couldn’t say he was pleased about it. It truly took all his strength not to pull Taeyong into his side, curling an arm around his waist, letting them know that Taeyong was his soulmate.

 

The remaining portion of the school year repeated as a vicious cycle of stress, partying and panic. Taeyong’s last year took quite a toll on him, Jaehyun having to drag him away from his destructive tendencies.

 

When finals week had rolled around, it was Taeyong that had drawn into a reclusive environment of coffee, stationary, and notes. The first evidence that was a complete sell-out came in the form of Taeyong dozing off in the library while studying. Jaehyun had found the elder tucked away at the edge of the library, surrounded by a mountainous heap of paper and empty coffee cups. That had been an easy to handle situation, Jaehyun had simply discarded all the empty cups and organised the piles of notes into what he assumed was the correct order. It progressively got worse, Taeyong seemingly melting into skin and bones. The elder looked like death had warmed over, blotchy purple shadowing his bloodshot eyes as he peered over essays and course materials. Jaehyun hoped that once the winter holidays had begun, Taeyong’s horrific habits would come to an end, however, that didn’t turn out to be the case. Taeyong’s state hadn’t changed following the first week of holiday, staying awake until dawn, anxiety over the results of his labour making him insides churn.

 

As any stereotypical university student would be, they were standing centimetres apart, Jaehyun backed against the wall in Doyoung’s kitchen, trapped under a drunk Taeyong. People had asked questions about the elder, all of which Jaehyun had replied with curt sentences, drawing Taeyong closer to his frame. If you asked, Jaehyun couldn’t answer when exactly Taeyong’s lips met his, excitement and heat flooding his veins at the taste of alcohol and drugs on Taeyong’s lips and mouth. His arms snaked around Taeyong’s figure, pulling him close, close, closer, impossibly closer, holding onto the inebriated beauty like a lifeline, drowning in passionate kisses, bites, and licks along his lower lip and as quick, Taeyong had disappeared, leaving a panting Jaehyun messily leaning against the wall, a slight tremble in his step as he left the kitchen with a smirk.

 

The night passed as a blur of alcohol, hazy smoke, and heavy music, Taeyong nowhere to be found amidst the bodies of copious amounts of people. Jaehyun, sober and trapped under a passed out Taeil, tried to occupy himself with his phone, nearly dropping the device in shock as it began to vibrate in his grasp.  _ Yongie. _

 

The call is full of mindless chatter. Taeyong speaks of anything and everything, his disorientation evident in the tone his voice was coloured in. Jaehyun can tell something’s off.

 

Something  _ is _ off.

 

There’s a slight slurring to Taeyong’s voice, followed by an underlying weight, accentuated by the little hitches in his breathing, making it sound like he’s sobbing, or has been crying his eyes out. He sounds slightly raspy, voice fluctuating as he continues to speak, to  _ distract  _ himself. Jaehyun’s insides lurch, thoughts racing around the worst case scenario, the most possible scenario. The uneasiness he felt when he first lost his boyfriend in the swarm of people returned, settling in his gut and feeling heavier as he listened to Taeyong’s voice babbling away, his own thoughts muddling into one another.

 

He’s out the door five minutes later, having coaxed out an address from Taeyong, whose disorientation has begun to affect  _ him _ . They’re still on the phone together, Jaehyun would be damned if he let his boyfriend, his baby, be alone in the state he was in. The drive seems to take hours and at this point, Jaehyun’s too choked up by emotions to react. His soulmark glows in the dark as he finally,  _ finally _ , arrives at his destination.

 

The wait for the elevator to arrive seemed to stretch on for aeons as Jaehyun tried to calm himself down, trying to push back the hysteria that seemed to bleed into his skin through the soulmate mark. His chest felt heavy as he placed his palm on the cool marble, forcing himself in the elevator. That itself felt like hours.

 

The pain is excruciating as the elevator dings again, opening to an empty corridor leading outside. His vision had already melted into a blur, the pressure in his chest knocking the breath out of his lungs, as he stumbled across the rooftop.

 

_ Jaehyunie. _ Warmth and relief exploded in his chest with a flourish, the heavy weight on his chest seemingly dissipating as he all but lunges at his boyfriend. After all that happened in the past hour, he’s tired, they both are.  _ Jaehyunie, Jaehyunie, Jaehyunie. _ A continuous whimper of his name ending in a choked sob. Jaehyun’s blood roared in his ears as he held onto Taeyong tighter, their hearts beating at an erratic pace.  He doesn’t know how long they stay in that position, Taeyong curled in on Jaehyun, who’s holding him like a lifeline. All he knows is that Taeyong,  _ his love _ , is safe in his arms.

 

They end up returning home, curled up on the couch after a warm shower. The rest of the night ends up as a flurry of pure-intentioned kisses and hand-holding in silence. Jaehyun silently trailed his fingers across Taeyong’s wrist as the elder finally lulled into sleep.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> so, that was a wild ride. i could've dragged it on more and added a lot more material but i just wanted to get this out there before i began to hate it. for the ones who're waiting for aptitude of your heart, that should hopefully be updated by next month !!
> 
> hmu !!  
> https://twitter.com/nanashyuckie  
> https://curiouscat.me/nanashyuckie  
> https://jaeminim.tumblr.com


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